Thursday, August 7, 2014

Feeling Crushed

My cat has been missing since Monday. My dad says things like, "It's just a cat," and "I don't understand why you're upset...you knew he was going to go someday!" and "Just forget about it! You make it sound like he was part of the family!" and I don't know if he just doesn't care or if he's trying to make me feel better, but if it's the latter, it's not helping. At all.

I just want permission to be sad, permission to pull the covers over my head and cry. I miss him. Maybe he's "just a cat," but I miss the way he'd cuddle into lap and drape his body over my chest. I miss his meowing, even if it was at 3am sometimes, and the way that he'd climb into the laps of all the visitors at our house and purr as if he'd never met a stranger. I miss the way he'd get down on his tummy and search for the toy mice that may have slipped under the bookcase or the oven. I even miss his quirky nature, the way he'd hiss and chase his tail unless it was bandaged, and it used to drive us crazy but--what I wouldn't give to hear that again!  I miss him.

This morning I awoke with a gasp because there was a bird chirping outside and for one moment, for one amazing moment, it sounded almost like him, and my heart leapt at the thought of him at the door. With each day that passes, I lose more and more hope that he'll return, and every time I think about him, I can't help but wonder if he's hungry, or tired, or lonely and scared. I wonder if he's still out there somewhere, and if a fox or a fisher cat got to him, I wonder if he suffered.



Because to me, he's not just a cat, and no matter what my dad says, he is a part of our family, and has been for the ten years he's been with us. I love him, and I just want him back. :(

8 comments:

  1. Oh I'm so very sorry. I can imagine David saying just that to Abby (if we ever let her get a cat) b/c we are just not "cat people". But he would be wrong. And so is your dad in this case. So very wrong. It's not "just" anything. It is SOME thing that is important to you. She has been a part of your life for a decade. That is as long as Abby has been alive to put it in perspective. You are allowed to grieve and to be sad and to hope.

    I hope you find some comfort soon.

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  2. Oh no! I'm so sorry to read this. We have four cats (and a dog, and now fish) and I would be heartbroken, just as you are, to lose one of our cats. I completely understand why you feel the way you do.

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  3. Oh, K, I am sooooooo sorry! Your cat is a part of your family. A sweet loving funny constant in your life. I hope he comes home soon. Don't give up hope yet! Hugs.

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  4. Oh sweets! I'm so sorry! Pets are part of the family, 100%, in my opinion. I so very much hope that he comes home soon and was simply lost. Sending hugs and hope your way and you are completely allowed to hide under your covers and cry. Pets are a very big part of our lives!!!

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  5. DID HE COME BACK? OHHH, I hope so!!!!! I adore my kitty. He is like one of my boys! xxxxx

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    1. No, he did not. :-(

      I adore my pets as well! We still have a cat and two dogs, but I miss my little guy very much and hope that he's in a better place now!

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  6. I am so sorry about your cat, and no he is not "just a cat". He is a part of you and a lot of people do not understand that or feel the same way. It doesn't mean that they have to be mean or make you feel bad. My Cat died last December. I was devastated and heart broken. I had her for 17 1/2 years which was half my life. She was old, it was her time but it didn't make it any easier.

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  7. So sorry... Dads can be harsh and crass maybe because they don't know what else to say, or maybe because it's the only way they know to deal with what is happening. Losing a pet is never easy, because they really are a part of the family. I was so happy when my cousin brought his dog to Easter because my aunt and uncle's dog passed away a couple years ago. The new dog is nothing like the old and cannot replace him, but it's nice to have that dog energy around the house again <3

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