Thursday, April 24, 2014

Wrecked Shoes Made Me Smile

It's 7am and my alarm clock jolts me from my dreams. I open one eye and tell myself my daily lie: If you get up now, you can take a nap later! 

I don't even take naps, but somehow I believe that lie. Every. Single. Day. , the empty promise of a nap gets me out of bed in the morning. 

I sit up in bed and my eyes fall on the two posters in my dorm room. The first one says KEEP CALM AND CARRY ON. Facing that, on the opposite wall, is another one, a Christmas gift from my brother: NOW PANIC AND FREAK OUT.

That about sums up the past two weeks. Nothing major, no crazy health scares or anything, but academics were starting to explode my to-do list. Is that even a valid excuse? I should make more of an effort to keep up with my posts (I can't believe it's been almost two weeks! oops) but I guess I should also make more of an effort to clean my room, put away my laundry, make my bed, eat my vegetables, and go to bed at a normal hour.

Anywayyyy...here's a post for you guys. Would love to hear your thoughts so I know if anyone still comes here even after my two week epic-fail of no blog posts!

 ~

CP is such a visible, all-encompassing part of my life, but sometimes it hits me that if a stranger was to walk into my dorm room, they would find almost no evidence of the challenges I deal with every day. If they searched through my drawers, they'd find blister bandaids, athletic tape, and injury wraps, and they might actually assume I'm an athlete.

At least until they found my shoes.

Earlier in the year, I was talking to my mom on the phone when I paused for a moment, took a deep breath and said, "You know the new sneakers I got just before school started? I kind of wrecked them."

My right shoe, especially, was ruined. My right side is worse than my left, and my unusual gait pattern takes a toll on my footwear (and my feet, but that's a story for a different day!). They're worn down in all the wrong places.

My mom was silent for a moment, and then....

"Good!"

I waited to ensure I'd heard her correctly, shocked. "I don't think you heard me. I wrecked my shoes. Like wore-a-hole-into-them kind of wrecked."

"I heard you. Congratulations."

Thoroughly confused now, I checked my connection...maybe I was in a dead zone or something, and "I wrecked my shoes" was being transmitted as "I got an A+ on my chemistry exam" (which, for the record, is impossible).

"Mom," I said, slowly and clearly this time. "I wrecked my shoes. My new shoes."

"I know!" she said.
"And those doctors said you might never walk! You go girl!" 

24 comments:

  1. Now THAT is an awesome way of looking at it.

    And you're in my blog roll. And in my favourites. So of COURSE I see your updates, silly, sweet one :)

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    1. Aww, thank you for stopping by so consistently, Lizzi. Your encouragement means the world to me! (and the villanelle you wrote today? AWESOME.)

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  2. Another example of why I love your mom!

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    1. Thanks, Tracey! I can't imagine my life without her! She actually reminds me a lot of you. (:

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    2. Well THAT is a compliment!! I can relate to her and her attitude, so I appreciate you saying that! xo

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  3. My eyes are welling up at your mother's comment! We were told our 18yo daughter would never walk, but she walked independently a little after her third birthday. As I wander through the shoe department at Walmart every six weeks or so to replace her worn shoes (the right toe gets the worst of it, too), my heart sometimes gets angry. I get frustrated about the trip there, the cost, buying the exact same shoes... and looking at all of the "cute" shoes she could never wear because they wouldn't stay on her feet, they wouldn't protect her toes (the right one that scrapes along the ground), or they would make her topple over. What your mom said here gave me a lot of encouragement today! Please give her a hug from me!!

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    1. Kerith, thank you so much for your comment...it made my day. I can relate to those shoe-store struggles all too well (another post for another day! but I definitely want to write about that too). I know exactly what you mean about walking through the aisles and feeling frustrated and broken, and when I called my mom to tell her that I had ruined my shoes (AGAIN), that's exactly how I felt. Her comment entirely changed my outlook, though, and I'm so glad that it encouraged you as well. xoxo

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  4. I LOVED this. What an awesome post. Also, I have a Keep Calm and Carry On poster and a Now Panic and Freak Out book in my room! I can relate :)

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    1. By the way, this is Emily from Words I Wheel By!

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    2. EMILY! I miss you, and I'm so glad you stopped by! I love that you have those items in your room as well, hahaha. Heading over to read your post now! (:

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  5. First, I love the posters. I think it is awesome that you have two of them facing one another. But more???? I LOVE LOVE LOVE with capital bold letters that your mom taught you to celebrate wrecked shoes.

    It's even better than Acing a chem exam.

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    1. Me too, Kerri. And as awesome as acing a chem exam would be, I agree...I felt so guilty about ruining my shoes, but her words instantly turned my day around. A change in perspective can make such a difference! (: Thanks for stopping by!

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  6. Great post! I laughed out loud about your two opposing posters, and most of all about your nap lie. I've told myself that, too, on occasion. Speaking of shoes, have you seen the Tumblr blog called "CP Shoes"? The title and to some extent the blog are based on the common CP experience of shoes being worn out quickly, or in very specific ways because of unusual gait. Here's the URL: http://cpshoes.tumblr.com.

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    1. Glad to be able to make you laugh, Andrew! And whoa -- I can't believe I've never come across that website before!!! I just looked through it quickly and it's AWESOME! Thank you so much for sharing!

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  7. Ok it's official. Your mom rocks. As do you. You go, woman! Wrecking shoes is just freaking awesome. Also? Your posters show true taste, you. Here's to hoping for more breaks in exams and a NAP. Trust me, they are beautiful. Even if they're only 8 minutes long.

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    1. Aww, thanks!! (: She DOES rock, and you do too! And I'm definitely going to try and get some more sleep...I got 11 hours this morning and it was AMAZING.

      Would love to do another Our Land for you soon! I haven't read the most recent one but I'm going to head over to your blog to do so in a moment...I have a lot of catching up to do! (: xo

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  8. Every time you mention your Mum, I cry xx I always love your stories but it's your Mum I often think about and once again she makes me smile and relate! I am about to go and buy Coop new pants as he wears the knees out high knee walking around the place which I also love as it was never envisioned to happen xxx

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    1. Aww, Bron, I love that you can relate to my mom! Your comments always bring a smile to my face. And way to go, Coop!! High-knee walking is no easy task! That kid is a rockstar!

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  9. Stopping by from Love That Max link up. This is totally awesome! I love it! Congratulations!!

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    1. Thank you so much for stopping by! I can't wait to take a look at your blog as well! (:

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  10. Such a great post! I wreck my shoes all the time too! It's funny because I never really noticed as a kid, but I guess now that I'm in college and buying my own shoes I have started to pay more attention. What kinds of shoes do you wear the most?

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    1. Thanks Olivia! Yeah, now that you mention it, I've noticed it a lot more in college, too -- but I'm also putting a lot more stress on my shoes than I did when I was a kid because I'm walking back and forth to class and most of that walking is on pavement, so it's pretty easy for my shoes to get scuffed!! Maybe it's the same for you?

      I'm not a huge shoe person (shoe shopping is a frustrating experience for me!), but I usually wear boat shoes because they match with everything, they're comfortable, and they're flat. On more casual days, I just wear sneakers. (:

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  11. I love this! Your mom has mastered the art of seeing the positive! Despite any frustration about how often your shoes need to be replaced, you and your mom are celebrating your progress, and that is AWESOME! We try to stay positive at Kids Included Together, where we focus on celebrating differences. Check out our website-- www.kitonline.org
    Thanks for sharing!!!

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  12. Awesome post! I saw your work at Kristi's blog at Finding Ninee, and just love what I'm reading here. I'm looking forward to reading more of what you have to contribute!

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